Commissioners revise Clark County motto:
When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a kneecap
"This change has been long in coming," said new county commissioner and motion control enthusiast David Madore. "Our new county motto really gets to the heart of my governing philosophy."
Shortly after unveiling the new motto and declining to comment on what the change will cost taxpayers, Madore turned to his audience of paid sycophants and smiled. "Now. Let's get to work."
In a matter of minutes Madore, who had campaigned on a platform of bringing jobs to Clark County, defunded the county's primary economic development group, threatened to de-fund Southwest Washington's infrastructure and transportation development group, and also managed to take a few seconds to stare menacingly at a group of homeless puppies that happened to be walking by on their way to a shelter.
"Yes," said Madore. "When I campaigned I said a bunch of stuff about how I'm a 'consensus' guy. I didn't realize none of you understood that, for me, consensus is when we all leave the room agreeing to do exactly what I want."
"But really, I'm a carrot and stick kind of guy. And boy, do I like my sticks," he continued. Because when it comes to working with people who have different opinions, who doesn't want to just cut to the chase and start beating people with sticks? Or hell, beat them with carrots. It's all the same to me."